How Reese Witherspoon + Tom Hardy Made Me a Married Woman.

Aug 3

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This is the story of how watching the movie This Means War directly resulted in me being married to Adam one year later.

If you’ve seen the movie, you know the basic premise is that Reese Witherspoon meets two guys online. That’s really all you need to know for the story. Well, that, and that the two guys are incredibly good looking (Hiiiiiiii Tom Hardy!)

Flashback to March 2012…
I was living in Nashville and had just left an awful relationship. I was loving being single again, having free time, and not constantly fighting with someone. Dating in general, especially online dating wasn’t on my radar. I mean, I knew online dating existed, but hadn’t considered it as a real possibility. But after seeing This Means War, I thought “Jeez, if I could meet a guy like Tom Hardy online then I should definitely check that out!”

There was no doubt in my mind that I would be moving back to good ‘ol Cleveland, TN at some point in the future, so I hopped on match.com and set up my account for the Chattanooga area.

OHMYGOSH.

I had SUCH a blast reading peoples profiles. First of all, LEARN HOW TO USE PUNCTUATION. It blew my mind that guys would type out a lengthy paragraph without using one speck of punctuation. I was crying at my keyboard reading all these hilarious profiles (people put some weirdo things about themselves on dating sites). I quickly realized that I wasn’t likely to meet my future boyfriend online, and definitely not online in the Cleveland, TN area.

But then…wait for it…

I saw a photo of my favourite ex-boyfriend! He was actually one of the first “premium matches” recommended by match.com. Now, when I say that he was my “favourite” ex-boyfriend, that means that I definitely still had feelings for him and that I was aware that I still had those feelings for him. He was, by far, the best dude I’d ever been in a relationship with. We had dated off and on for several years, but kept breaking up because he was adamant about not getting stuck living in Cleveland, while I was determined to live in Cleveland forever. We would mutually decide to break up instead of continuing to grow closer, but then we’d miss each other so much that after about a month we’d end up back together. It was equal parts hilarious, dumb, and super cute.

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The last time we broke up, I said it was for good. We wouldn’t be getting back together. Then I started dating someone else, and that lasted a year and a half. During that time, I forced myself to forget about Adam. He was the worst! If he didn’t want to actually commit, then fine. (Insert Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” over and over.)

But after my breakup in Nashville, I realized that I still had feelings for Adam and pretending they didn’t exist wasn’t going to help. It was so freeing to admit that I loved Adam! I was calling my mom and friends and just saying it to them: “I love Adam!”. It didn’t matter what he thought, felt, or even what happened. It just felt so good to be honest about my feelings.

But when he showed up as a match for me, I freaked! I had paid up front for three months of match.com, but I immediately cancelled my account (well, after I winked at him).

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And that’s pretty much it. Of course, there are about 11,298 other details and stories, but this blog is about how Tome Hardy and Reese Witherspoon made me a married woman. Adam started emailing me and then, in May of 2013…we got married! Tada!

Thanks Tom Hardy + Reese Witherspoon!

comments +

  1. Desirae

    August 3rd, 2015 at 9:48 pm

    This. Is . The . Best . Story . ( true story ) . e v r !!!!!! And I can hear you saying wait for it in my head and now I miss youuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!

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